


Amnesia

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27508861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Grissom and Sara are married when a kidnapping and amnesia causes things to change
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	Amnesia

Grissom slept in bed as I entered drenched in rain and sweat after a run. He felt my presence because he opened his eyes moving his head looking at me as I kicked my shoes off near the bed.

"Hey." He said, stretching.

"Hey." I said, walking over climbing on top of him smiling.

"Your all wet." He said

"It was raining."

"Your going to get sick." He said

I leaned down kissing him. He put his hands on my arms pulling me down then rolling us over. He moved back looking at me as I took a breath.

"I need a shower. Do you want to join me?" I asked

"Maybe." He said

I got away from him smiling as I took my shirt off tossing it on the bed as Grissom sat up watching my every move.

At work, I was given a solo scene on the strip. I got out of the vehicle seeing people everywhere being blocked by cops. I looked down and there was a body splattered on the sidewalk. I looked up to the top of the casino.

"Bad huh?" Brass said, as he walked over.

"We've seen worse." I said, getting the camera out.

"Yes, but not for a long time." He said

I nodded sighing. I put on gloves kneeling down trying to find some identification. When I found none, I assumed it was up on the roof. I had a cop come with me to the roof as I walked the area using a flashlight to shine my way. I found the wallet lying on the ground near the side of the building and some blood. I knelt down seeing shell casings. After bagging them I stood looking over the edge imagining falling. My shivered as I leaned over more.

I jumped as my phone started to ring. I stepped back grabbing it putting it to my ear.

"Sidle." I said

"Hey, you okay?" Grissom asked

I smiled to myself as I looked down at the pebbles on the roof.

"I'm fine." I said "Where are you?"

"My office. I am doing paperwork." He said "I just got a feeling you were in danger."

"I am not." I said, chuckling.

"Are you on a plane?" He asked

"No, I am on a roof of a casino." I said

"Becareful."

"Your distracting me." I said, walking around.

"A good distraction?"

"Always, but right now it's kind of messing up my concentration."

"When will you be back?"

"I am finishing up now." I said

"Good, hurry back so I know your safe."

I chuckled hanging up. I looked up at the stars closing my eyes. As I did this, I heard something behind me. I turned only to be hit by something.

Grissom was signing a paper as a knock interrupted him. He watched his office door open and Brass came in looking troubled.

"How was the scene?" Grissom asked, as he went back to his paperwork.

"Gil."

Grissom looked up feeling something was wrong by his friends' tone.

"What's wrong?" He asked

Brass looked down then back at Grissom paler than usual.

"It's Sara."

Grissom dropped his pen standing slowly.

"What about Sara?"

"I….don't know how to….say this." Brass said

"What?"

"She jumped off the roof."

Grissom looked at him trying to process what he was saying.

"Did you hear what I said?" Brass asked, unshed tears in his eyes.

"Sara, would not….do that." He said

"Gil, she did."

Grissom shook his head walking past his friend running down the hallway to the morgue. Dave jumped as Grissom came in looking at him.

"Grissom?" He said

"I want to see Sara."

Dave looked at him shocked.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Now!" Grissom yelled

Brass came in the room watching Dave walk over to a black body bag to the left on one of the metal tables. He slowly unzipped it looking at Grissom.

Grissom walked over looking at Dave then down at the body. He gripped the table till his knuckles turned white. He looked at the unrecognizable person in the bag. The clothes were the same and the wedding ring.

"I'm sorry." Dave said

Brass walked over putting his hand on Grissom's back. Grissom recovered standing straight then he slowly walked out seeing Catherine and the others standing down the hallway tearfully watching him. He walked towards them not saying a word.

"Is it true?" Greg asked

Grissom turned looking at them.

"Yes." He said

Greg started to sob leaving the group running down the hallway. Grissom walked away quickly to his office locking the door behind him.

Catherine knocked a few minutes later.

"Gil, it's Cath." She said

She heard the door unlock. As she opened the door Grissom sat on the couch wiping his eyes shaking. Catherine locked the door behind her walking over hugging Grissom against her.

"Sara, loved you." She said

"I…. can't live without her!" He said

"Yes, you can. You have the team behind you. We all loved Sara." She said, her voice cracking.

"I lost her." Grissom said

Catherine tightened her grip on him crying against his head.

Grissom stayed at Catherine's talking about Sara. Crying against her until it wore him out. The next shift Brass met with Catherine in the hallway.

"Gil, needs time to rest." She said "He won't be back for a while."

Brass nodded sighing sadly.

"It's hard to think about working." He said

"We have to get through this." Catherine said "I want to work this case. If Sara did jump, I want to know why."

"You're to close to this." He said

"I need to do this, Jim." She said "Gil, made me promise to figure this out. I can't fail him."

"I will help."

Hours later as they talked in the lab Dave ran in out of breath. He looked at Catherine and Brass with wide eyes.

"Dave, what's going on?" Brass asked

"I…need to…tell…you something. That…is…not…Sara!"

Catherine walked over to him alarmed.

"What?"

"I…don't know who that is, but it is not Sara!"

Brass looked at Catherine as she turned to him.

"I took fingerprints and ran it. It's not her."

"She's alive." Catherine said

"She might not be." Brass said

"We need to find her!" Catherine said

Brass got his phone out dialing.

"Thank you. Dave." Catherine said, before running past him.

Grissom sipped some coffee in his kitchen rubbing his face. He put his cup down on the counter weary. His heart was breaking as he trembled unable to do anything. A hurried knock at his door caused him to react. He opened it seeing Brass shaking slightly.

"Gil, I have some news!"

"Come in." Grissom said, allowing his friend inside.

Brass walked in looking around then he turned to Grissom.

"Dave ran tests and we found out that the body in the morgue is not Sara!"

Grissom felt his heart race again.

"It's not….?"

"No, that means that Sara might be alive somewhere. We are working on it!"

Grissom gasped leaning back against the door.

"Sara is alive."

"Yes."

"We need to find her." Grissom said, in his boss voice.

"Yes." Brass nodded, watching his friend recover.

Grissom came to work bathed and dressed determined to find any trace of me. He watched sometimes impatiently. They went back to the scene looking for anything that could explain where I had gone.

"The place is spotless." Catherine said, looking at the roof.

"Yeah." Grissom said "How did they get her off the roof and out of the building? Cameras are everywhere."

"Greg is checking out the cameras right now."

Grissom nodded worried about me.

"Nick is checking her phone." She said

Grissom phoned Nick looking around.

"Nick, do you have something yet?"

"Yes, her phone is in the casino."

"Nick said Sara's phone is in the casino!" Grissom said

Catherine and Grissom contacted Brass then met him on the ground floor. Everyone spread out looking around.

"Where Nick?" Catherine asked, holding her phone.

"The back of the building!"

Catherine motioned to Grissom as raced to the back seeing some closed doors in a dimly lit hallway.

"Check the doors!" Grissom yelled

The cops started to open the doors as the Casino managers complained.

"You can't just come in here and search!" One said

"Here!" A cop at the end shouted

Grissom and Catherine ran over taking out their guns looking inside. In the room there was another door. Brass went in opening it looking inside.

"Basement." He said, with his gun raised walking in slowly.

Grissom and Catherine followed. Brass edged his way down seeing another door at the bottom. He got to the bottom looking back at them then he opened the door.

He looked around the dark room turning on the flashlight he had. As he turned the corner, he stopped seeing me lying on the floor bruised and bloodied in the corner.

"I found her!" Brass yelled, running over to me. Grissom ran in seeing me. They knelt beside Brass. "She has a faint pulse."

Brass grabbed his phone calling 911. Grissom touched my arm then my hair.

"Someone beat her bad." Catherine said

"Sara, can you hear me?" Grissom asked, moving my blood crusted hair back.

Brass ran up to the where the managers were standing still in the hallway watching the cops.

"Who has access to the basement?" He asked

"The managers, cleaning staff, maintenance." One of them asked "What happened?"

"One of the CSI's was taken and beaten left for dead down there." Brass said "I want to talk to each one of your staff. Someone did this and I intend to find out. If you don't cooperate, I will shut this place down."

Both men looked at him then each other.

The ambulance came and the paramedics lifted me up on a stretcher. Grissom went with me touching my hand. He winched at the injuries I had sustained.

Once at the hospital Grissom paced unable to relax until the doctor talked to him. An hour later the man did come to give Grissom some news.

"We did an MRI and I am afraid there is brain damage."

Grissom sighed closing his eyes.

"How bad?"

"We need to wait till she wakes up."

Grissom walked with the doctor into the room they put me in. I had a respirator over my mouth. Bandages around my head and parts of my body. Grissom took my hand kissing it as he looked at me. The doctor left us as Grissom sat in a chair waiting and praying.

I opened my eyes a little on the third day. It was hard to swallow. I winched looking around seeing I was in a hospital room. Grissom stood by the bed looking down at me. I wondered why he was here holding my hand.

The respirator was taken out and I was given water. I laid back down looking at Grissom.

"Why are you here?" I asked, in a raspy voice.

"Where else would I be?" He asked

"I….don't understand." I said

"Ssh, you had an accident. You have amnesia."

He leaned over kissing my head. I closed my eyes feeling sleepy. He moved back as I let my head to the side.

I woke up alone and it was dark. The doctor came in with a clipboard and a pen.

"Can you sign your name?" He asked

I took the clipboard and the pen looking at the blank paper.

"Just try." He said

I slowly tried to write only it didn't work. I looked at the scribble I put on the paper. He took it looking at it.

"What's happening?"

"I need to tell you that because of your injuries that you have some brain damage."

"I can't write?"

"You will learn in time." He said "Do you remember the date?"

"It's June 4th, 2001."

"It's April 26th, 2020." He said

I looked at him confused.

"The man that was here before. Do you remember his name?"

"You mean Grissom?"

"Yes. Who is he to you?"

"My boss." I said "I put him down as an emergency contact. We are coworkers. Nothing else."

"He is your husband."

"What?"

The door opened as Grissom came in seeing us.

"Grissom, what is going on?" I asked, trying to sit up.

"What do you mean?" He asked, walking over.

"This man says you and I are…. married?"

Grissom looked at the doctor then at me.

"That's true."

I laid back unable to breathe for a moment.

"Married?" I asked

"Yes, we have been for three years."

"I'll be back to check on you." The doctor said

Grissom nodded as he looked at the man. He looked down at me.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"I don't believe this." I said

"Sara, everything will be okay." He said "We are going to get through this."

He reached for my hand and I wrenched it away.

"I can't…." I said, touching my head.

"Just take it slow." He said

I closed my eyes feeling his fingers touching my arm.

"Honey, it's okay. You just need some time."

He sat on the bed rubbing my blanket covered leg. I opened my eyes looking at him.

"You're a stranger to me! Everyone is a stranger to me!" I said

"Sara."

I moved to my side away from him crying.

"Go away!" I screamed

Grissom sighed getting off the bed then he left. I sobbed scared and confused.

The next day I stared at the window to my left. The nurses checked on me giving me a lecture about not eating. I slept more faintly hearing someone in the room. My blanket was pulled up. Voices in the room distracted me.

Lips moved along my cheek as I moved moaning faintly. I opened my eyes seeing Grissoms blue ones staring back. He leaned in kissing me. I opened my eyes watching him move back searching my eyes.

"Sara, I love you."

"Do…I love you?" I asked

"Very much."

"How did this happen?" I asked

"I saw what my stalling was doing to you. I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew deep down that I loved you. That was enough for me."

"Do we…. have any kids?"

"No." He said, moving to sit on the bed resting his hand on my leg again.

"Do I still work as a CSI?" I asked

"Yes, but you almost quit before we got together." He said "You can ask me anything."

"You said that we were married for three years. Did we get married in a church?"

"No, a courthouse. You didn't want a traditional wedding."

He watched me silently.

"I feel like I am in a parallel universe. The last thing I remember is I was arguing with you. Now we are married."

"Do you love me, Sara?"

"I always have, but I have lost 3 years and it's really hard."

"I understand this is overwhelming." He said "I sometimes can't believe that you are with me."

"Is my mother still alive?"

"Yes, she is in San Francisco."

"Does she know that….?"

"Yes, we visited her after we married."

He touched my hand resting on my stomach. I didn't move it feeling his thumb moving back at forth over my skin.

"You're not leaving?"

"Do you want me to?" He asked

"No."

"Then I will stay." He said

"I feel safe with you."

"Good."

I closed my eyes as he watched me. When I woke, I had a terrible pain in my head. I moved moaning seeing Grissom sitting in the chair beside the bed reading. He looked at me as I moved holding my head. The heart monitor started to go crazy as Grissom stood watching the doctor and nurses run in. He was asked to leave as they worked on me. The doctor came out seeing Grissom waiting by the door.

"She is stable."

Grissom took a breath.

"What happened?"

"We need to operate as soon as possible. Her brain is swelling."

"Do what you need to." Grissom said

The doctor touched his arm then went back inside.

Grissom sat in the waiting room as Catherine sat down beside him handing him a cup of hot coffee. Grissom looked down at the coffee as Catherine touched his arm rubbing it.

"Cath, if something happens to Sara. I don't want to live."

"Gil, you know Sara would not want you to think that." She said

He leaned back letting his head rest back against the wall. Catherine prayed that I would pull through for Grissom's sake.

Grissom silently walked back into the room I was in later. He walked over seeing how pale I was with a new bandage around my head. He leaned over kissing my cheek feeling tears go down his cheeks. He moved touching my cheek with his hand.

I slept for days waking early in the morning. I was very sedated unable to stay awake for long. Grissom came back with some flowers from the team at work. He stayed by my side for many hours reading aloud from a book. His voice was calming and welcoming.

A few weeks after the surgery I came home. Grissom watched me look around the house. I watched him walk to a door to the left with my bag. I walked to the room seeing it was a bedroom. He put the suitcase on the bed then walked over to me.

"This is your home." I asked

"This is our home."

"I forgot." I said, going out to the living room.

"Do you like it?" He asked, behind me.

"Yes, it's very nice."

I walked to the kitchen on the right looking at it. I turned gasping as I stood by the door looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I just can't get used to this." I said

"You need time to adjust. I can stay in a hotel."

"No, that's silly. We can both share this house." I said "Um….I was thinking about…sleeping arrangements."

"Sleeping arrangements?" He asked

"Yes, since I have lost my memory, I know you can't expect…you know."

He nodded coming over to me.

"It's okay. I know you need time. I just hope you one day want to….you know again." He said, smiling.

I smiled a little blushing under his stare.

"How about some food?" He asked

"I could eat."

"I can whip up something." He said

"Okay, whatever you want. Can I sit on the couch?"

"Of course." He said

"Thanks." I said, leaving.

He sighed watching me leave.

He made us both salads and we ate quickly then I went to the spare bedroom that Grissom showed me next to his. I laid in bed staring at the darkness scared that nothing would ever be the same.

I woke and dressed in casual clothes in the morning. Grissom was obviously still sleeping. I ventured around checking out things. I went to the kitchen looking for cups in the cabinets. Grissom came out hearing me. He walked to the kitchen seeing I was trying to find things. He watched me turn and jump seeing him again.

"Good morning." He said

"Good morning." I said "I just wanted some water if that is all right?"

"I can make coffee." He said

"I have a headache. Water is fine." I said, uneasily going to the sink filling the cup I had with water. He got some Tylenol for me. I took them watching him move around the kitchen making coffee.

He turned looking at me as he leaned against the counter. I put the cup in the sink glancing at him.

"Are you going to work?" I asked

"I am going to check in then come back." He said

"You don't have to." I said

"I want to."

I nodded looking down. He slowly reached over touching my hand. I moved it away backing up.

"I should brush my teeth" I said, leaving quickly.

Grissom looked down sadly. I sat down on Grissom's bed after running out of the kitchen. Grissom left me alone giving me some space. He went to the lab as I stayed home. When he came back I was sleeping on the couch. He walked over putting a throw blanket over me then he got his phone calling for takeout. Grissom put his empty plate on the coffee table an hour later looking at me still sleeping. He was watching the news.

He touched my blanketed leg looking at me then he watched the news. I moved stilling winching as I started to wake up. I moaned opening my eyes seeing the TV on. Grissom watched me look around then raise my head seeing him. I sat up breathing fast.

"You okay?" He asked, letting my leg go.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"I don't know." He said "Are you hungry?"

I moved over quickly putting my head against his chest. He put his arms around me surprised at my behavior.

"I dreamed that you were killed right in front of me."

"It was just a dream." He said, kissing my head.

"What if it was a future event? People do dream those things."

"We can't know what the future holds." He said

I grasped his shirt.

"I hope it doesn't." I said

He rested his head against mine as I closed my eyes relaxing.

"Grissom?"

"Hmm?"

I lifted my head looking at him.

"Do you think we could…..?"

He searched my eyes.

"Do you really want to?"

"Yes." I said

"All right."

I got up letting him get up leading me to his bedroom.

He stopped at the side of the bed facing me. For a moment we just looked at each other till finally he moved his head to my neck kissing my skin. I closed my eyes drifting. His warm breath gave me shivers. He wrapped his arms around me as he continued. I moaned welcoming his closeness. He lifted his head searching my eyes as he moved in for a kiss. I gave him no reason to stop. He kissed me with passion taking my breath away.

Gently, he moved me to lie on the bed. He climbed over me continuing the assault on my skin. My mind was overwhelmed. I still did not remember anything about our married life, but I wanted this to happen.

Goosebumps formed on my arms. He lifted his head looking at me.

"Sara, are you okay with this?" He asked, calmly.

"I trust you."

He searched my eyes then kissed me taking control. I was blown away with passion. As he left me, I went to sleep. He poked me hours later with food on a tray. We both ate in bed then he sat reading next to me as I watched him while lying down. He flipped a page clearing his throat a little. I smiled noting how cute he was. He looked down at me a moment then went back to his book.

"When did you fall in love with me?" I asked

He put the book down holding it open with his hand as he stared ahead thinking.

"I believe it was when you and I were working the hockey player case."

"You said you were interested in beauty when you met me." I said

"I still am." He said

I smiled as he smiled.

"When did you decide to marry me?"

"I haven't decided yet." He said, looking at his book again. I hit his arm making him winch. "I always knew I would."

"You just said you weren't in love with me till the hockey case."

"True, but I knew." He said

"As in a soulmate?"

He flipped a page again.

"Perhaps."

I looked at the ceiling as he read.

"Would you marry again if I died?"

He looked at me pained for a moment.

"Sara, I would never do that."

I slowly sat up looking at him. He looked at me sadly.

"I never want to go through what I went through when I thought you had died. The heartache just ripped me apart."

I looked down as he touched my hand in my lap. After a minute he went back to the book he was reading. I got up to go to the kitchen looking around it. Opening the freezer, I saw my favorite ice cream in a large carton. I took it out opening it then I looked around for a spoon. Grissom came out walking in getting one out of a drawer near the sink. He handed it to me watching as I dipped it into the ice cream eating. He smiled shaking his head as I dug in. Grissom watched me as he sat down at the island on a stool.

"Some things never change." He said

I continued to eat stopping as I received a brain freeze. Grissom chuckled as I put my hand to my head winching.

"Owe!" I said

I recovered looking at him. He held his head up with his hand smiling at me.

"Sara, you make me happy."

I looked confused for a moment as he looked concerned.

"You okay?"

"I remember you said that before." I said

He stood coming over to me.

"Yes, I did." He said "You can remember that?"

"Yes, but it wasn't here. It was…."

"Try to remember." He said, touching my arms.

I tried, but it was just a blur. Something else came instead. I looked at him as he searched my eyes.

"Sophia." I said

"What?"

"You loved her."

"What?" He asked

"You wanted her!"

"Sara, that never happened." He said

"Why did it pop up?"

"You might be remembering before we got together. I did date Sophia." He said, touching my cheek. "I was attracted to her. You were the only person I loved."

"I'm sorry."

"Honey, there is hope that your memory is still going to come out. It's just going to take some time."

I nodded hoping it was true.

Grissom had me rest at home for two weeks. Towards the end I was crawling the walls with boredom. When I came back a new evening supervisor was taking some of the workload off of Grissom and Catherine. D.B. Russell was very similar to Grissom, but he preferred to keep plants in his office rather than bugs.

Russell walked over to where I was working helping Greg with evidence. He stood at the door watching us. I looked over at him as he smiled walking in.

"Sara, can I talk to you a moment?" He asked

I looked at Greg then I silently walked out into the hallway.

"Look, I was going to come clean about what I broke. If this is about that….." I said, stopping as his expression changed to a curious expression. "You are not here for…."

"What did you break?"

I opened my mouth then shut it.

"Nothing, what did you need?"

"I wanted to ask you if you would come and work for me?"

"Why me?"

"I wanted someone who had experience to teach my new recruits. You have a great understanding of how things work around here."

"I lost my memory."

"Yes, Grissom told me about that. I talked to him about this and he said if you wanted to, he would fill out the form."

"Can I think about it?"

"I kind of need an answer at the end of shift."

"Okay, I'll get back to you later."

"Great!" He said, smiling before walking away then stopping. "Sara?"

"Yes?"

He turned looking at me with an amused smile on his face.

"What did you break?"

"Nothing that can't be replaced in say…two years." I said, before quickly going back into the lab room shutting the door.

Russell watched me then he walked away. At break I walked into Grissom's office seeing he was looking at a bug in a jar as he sat at his desk. He looked up seeing me.

"Another important beetle?" I asked

"Yes." He said

I walked around his desk looking at him. He took my hand rubbing it.

"Come to a decision yet?" He asked

"No."

I slid into his lap putting my head against his shoulder. He looked at me holding me in place with his arms. I yawned closing my eyes. He kissed my head.

"How's your head?" He asked

"Fine." I said, looking at him.

"Any new memories coming back?"

"No."

I closed my eyes again feeling him moving his chair side to side slowly. His phone beeped and he grabbed it from his desk looking at it then he put it down.

'Are you awake?" He asked

"No." I said

He kissed my head resting his lips against it.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"No."

"Don't you think you should?"

When I didn't answer he silently looked at the door then he kissed my head again looking at me,

"Sara, I need to see Cath."

I sighed lifting my head seeing him.

"Ok." I said

He helped me to stand as he did. I moved closer hugging him.

"What is wrong?" He asked

"I feel off." I said

"Off, as in sick?" He asked

"No, just…. off."

"I don't know what that means." He said "Go eat something."

He pushed me away. I went to the breakroom getting a sandwich. After break I went back to the lab with Greg.

Grissom and Russell were talking at the front desk as I walked over. They both turned looking at me.

"What's the decision?" Russell asked

"Yes, I will work with you."

Russell smiled nodding as Grissom nodded.

"I'll fill out the form next shift and you can begin after." Grissom said

"Great, see you then." He said, walking away.

I sighed looking at Grissom. He just stared at me.

"Mad?" I asked

"No." He said

"Okay." I said, walking past him to the front door.

I walked out feeling a cool breeze hit me. I breathed in the air smelling French fries. Grissom came out leading me to the car.

We got into the car and he faced me.

"Russell mentioned that you broke something."

I sighed letting my head fall back against the headrest as I closed my eyes.

"What was it?" He asked

I looked at him.

"If I tell you then you need to promise not to…do anything that we both will regret later."

He flexed his jaw waiting.

"Deal?"

"Let's hear it first."

"I broke a microscope."

"Which one?" He asked

"The…. new one."

He sighed looking at me.

"Do you know how much that cost?"

"I might." I said

"It took us a long time to get that."

"Maybe it can be fixed."

"I will have it looked at. In the meantime, you are not to touch anything for a while."

"Great!" I said

He shook his head starting the car.

We ate dinner then sat on the couch watching the news. Grissom looked at me as I rubbed my head with my hand. I stood walking to the bedroom. Grissom got up walking in slowly seeing I was standing near his side of the bed still holding my head.

"Sara, you okay?"

He came around to face me.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

His hand touched my skin and I went off. I screamed struggling wildly as he grasped my arms. I kept telling myself to stop that this was Grissom, but my body would not stop. He tried to calm me. I hit his chest feeling him throw me on the bed.

"Sara, stop!" He shouted

I screamed arching my back breathing fast.

"Calm down!"

He watched me arch my back again as I tried to free my hands then I just stopped. He waited a few seconds then he released me as I moved slowly. His hand went to my hair.

"It's okay." He said

I moved my head to the left and blood trickled from my nose. Grissom put a tissue over it.

"Ssh." He said

I swallowed looking around.

Grissom lifted the tissue seeing more blood coming out. He moved to sit beside me pulling me up so he could control the bleeding better. I leaned against him not understanding what was happening.

"Just sit here for a moment." He said, getting up to get another tissue.

After it stopped, he tucked me into bed getting his phone out calling someone. I slept for hours faintly hearing someone talking. I was touched and moved.

"I don't know what could have caused this, Gil. I don't think the doctors at the hospital would either." Doctor Robbins said, as he sat on the bed after examining me.

"She did have a lot of trauma to the head." Grissom said, as he leaned against the wall.

"Trauma does have lasting effects. This episode could happen again. She seems fine now." He said, looking at me.

Grissom looked at me certain this would happen again. I moved later feeling warm. Grissom laid beside me watching me stretch then slowly open my eyes.

"Hey." He said, gently.

"Hey." I said

"How do you feel?"

"Good." I said

"I want you to stay home today." He said

"Did you check that with my new boss?"

"I am your boss until I sign the form. After what happened earlier, I think you defiantly need to stay home."

"Grissom, I want to work."

I sat up looking at him.

"I feel really good." I said

"You're going to fight me on this, aren't you?" He asked

He sat up eye level with me.

"I would not be me if I didn't."

"Sara, you're staying home."

He got off the bed leaving the room as I sighed. I laid back down looking at the blanket. After a minute I got up walking to the living room then the kitchen seeing he was making coffee with his back to me.

"So, you'll fill out that form for me when you get there?" I asked

He finished making coffee turning to look at me.

"Yes."

"I better get ready then."

I turned to leave hearing him follow me.

"Sara, I….."

"No, I am going!" I said, staring him down. He just watched me. I got dressed saying nothing more.

Grissom stopped me as he got to the front door.

"Grissom, working is the best medicine I could have." I said, giving him a pleading look.

He flexed his jaw looking at me.

"That look won't work with me." He said "You are to stay here and rest. If not, I will put you on suspension."

"Blackmail?"

"Think of it as punishment for breaking the microscope."

He gave me a smile before opening the door leaving. I hit the door with my fist then I walked to the kitchen stomping around.

Later, he was talking in the hallway with Greg when I walked in seeing them. He looked up stopping midsentence to seeing me.

"Hello, did you do the form?" I asked

"Hey Sara." Greg said, uneasy.

"Hey." I said, smiling.

I could see that Grissom was fuming at my presence.

"Greg, I will talk to you more later." Grissom said, staring at me.

"Okay." Greg said, before running away.

Grissom took my arm abruptly walking quickly to his office. Once inside he slammed the door shut then walked over to his desk slamming his papers down looking at me.

"Grissom."

"No!" He shouted, "You are on suspension starting now!"

"Let me just…." I said, walking over.

"Get out of my sight!"

"Why are you so mad?" I said

"You do not listen to me! This is a joke to you!"

"I never thought it was a joke. I know my body enough to know I can work."

"Even if I say no?"

"Grissom, I am an independent person. I promised myself along time ago that no man would tell me what I can or cannot do!"

"You are in my office under my supervision! I told you to leave!"

I looked at him as he glared at me. I backed up facing him stopping at the door. He got his phone out dialing a number.

"Hello, this is Gil Grissom. I need two cops to escort someone out of the building." He said, before hanging up.

"You didn't need to do that." I said

"I have nothing to say to you." He said

I looked down opening the door leaving. He sighed sitting at his desk looking at the door. The two cops were walking down the hallway as I walked past to the front door. They came out making sure I got in my car.

I drove home trying to text Grissom, but he never answered back. I watched TV and listened to the police scanner. It was late when I woke to the door close. I sat up from the couch watching him walk in. He stopped looking at me. I didn't know what was going to happen.

He slowly walked over sitting down on the coffee table infront of me. He sighed looking at his hands clasped together. I slid my legs off the couch facing him.

He looked at me after a moment.

"Things became very heated earlier. I was upset about something else and I did take it out on you. I am sorry."

I stared at him silently.

"I have been ordering you around a lot and it's not right. You are not my employee in this house." He said, reaching over touching my hand. "I am worried about you. Something isn't right and your attack you has proven it. I am trying to fix it and to do that I feel that I need to keep you locked away."

I looked at our hands.

"Sara?"

"I don't know you, Grissom." I said "You hold me and…..you're a stranger."

"I know."

"When we….it was wonderful, but when I look at this ring on my finger it doesn't feel right."

"We could start over. Begin again." He said

"Do you really think that would help?" I asked

"Yes, you have to get to know me."

I hugged him relieved.

Russell and I got to work immediately with heavy cases. He went with me a few times. For a few weeks everything was fine, but then I had another episode while putting evidence in the back of the Tahoe with Russell. He was talking as I touched my head.

"Sara, what's wrong?' He asked "Sara?"

I knelt down shaking. He knelt down touching my shoulder.

"Tell me what is wrong!" He said

I started to scream attacking him. He pulled me to the Tahoe opening the back door putting me down on the floor. I screamed louder as he held me. He tried to get out his phone, but it dropped under the seat.

He let go of my arm to reach under trying to grab his phone. I pushed him out of the Tahoe making him fall down. He winched getting up hearing nothing. He came back seeing that I was calm with a nosebleed. He got his phone out trying to find a tissue.

He put the phone down as he reached over covering my nose.

"Grissom." Grissom answered

"Gil, it's Russell! I am with Sara. She just had this attack. Her nose is bleeding."

"Is she conscious?"

Russell looked at me as I slowly moved my head.

"She is moving."

"I will come. Where are you?"

"The corner of 68th street. I can call an ambulance."

"No, wait for me."

Russell hung up leaning over me.

"It's going to be okay." He said

He moved my hair back waiting. He heard Grissom stopping his vehicle coming out running over ten minutes later. Russell climbed out seeing his friend.

"How is she?" Grissom asked

"I think fine. She's been sleeping."

Grissom climbed in touching my neck. I moved slowly opening my eyes seeing him.

"You okay?"

"Peachy." I said, sounding drugged.

He searched my eyes.

"Grissom."

"I am going to take you home."

"I'm fine."

I closed my eyes swallowing. He climbed back out looking at Russell.

"I am taking her home."

"Let me help you."

Grissom nodded as Russell stepped closer trying to lift me to sit up. I felt Grissom take my other side. They both got me to stand walking to Grissom's car.

They got me into the back lying me down. Grissom thanked Russell before driving us home. I woke to him carrying me inside the house to the bedroom. I laid back in the spare room bed. Grissom sat on it moving back my hair as I closed my eyes.

He got his phone out.

"It's Grissom. Sara had another attack at work. I have her at home. Her color is not good." He said, as he touched my neck. "Her pulse is slow."

He listened as he removed his hand from my neck.

"Yes, she had a nosebleed."

He watched me move to my side facing him.

"Okay, I'll be expecting you. Bye." He said, putting down his phone looking at me.

He covered me with a blanket then he walked out leaving the door open. He worked on the computer in the living room as someone knocked.

Doctor Robbins stood waiting as Grissom opened the door for him. He led him to the bedroom. Robbins sat on the bed looking at me.

"Sara?" He called

He shook my arm causing me to move. I blinked seeing him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good." I said, looking over seeing Grissom standing by the door.

"Can you sit up?"

I slowly sat up as he put a stethoscope on my chest.

"Grissom said you had an attack earlier." He said

"I don't remember." I said

He put his stethoscope away looking at me.

"What do you remember?"

"I was at a scene with Russell."

"Nothing else?" He asked

"No."

"What happens when you have these attacks?" He asked

I looked over at Grissom then back at the older man.

"I don't know…..I have pain in my head and then…"

"Then what?"

"I don't know."

"Meaning you can't remember?"

"No."

He looked over at Grissom.

"Did the doctor you talked to say anything about this kind of thing happening?"

"He said she could have brain damage, but it was not as severe as they determined."

"What is happening to me?" I asked

"I don't know, Sara. I think there was damage due to your injuries. You will continue to have these attacks."

"There has to be some medication she can take." Grissom said

"There are medications she can take. If these attacks continue and disrupts your work, you may have to stop."

I looked at Grissom scared.

"In a way, it's like you're having a seizure. I know a medicine that will stop them for the most part, but you will still have them."

"I think we should try it." Grissom said

Robbins got out a pad and a pen from his pocket. He wrote the medicine down.

"Now there are side effects like all other medicines. For example, dizziness, dry mouth, and rash. Plus, others that you could have."

Grissom took the piece of paper from him.

After he left Grissom came back into the room seeing I was looking at the blanket covering my legs. He sat down where Robbins had been touching my trembling hand.

"Grissom, my job is my life."

"Sara, everything is going to be all right. I promise you."

I put my hand to my head holding it.

"I am going to get this medicine and we will see if it does anything."

I nodded still holding my head. Grissom stood leaving. I cried after he left. He came back with takeout and the pills. I sat on the couch as he talked on his phone eating beside me. I put my half-eaten plate on the coffee table as he handed me a white pill with a glass of water. I looked at the pill in my hand as he watched me talking.

I looked at him then I took it. He patted my knee then stood to walk to the bedroom. We went to our separate rooms to sleep. I got up in the dark walking out to the hallway to Grissom's bedroom. I peeked in seeing he was sleeping in bed. I crept in walking around to the right-side getting in. I shivered moving closer to him trying to soak up his warmth. He moved as I trembled trying to relax. Grissom lifted his head looking at me.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I'm…c..co..cold." I said

He moved putting his arm around me pulling up the blanket. I burrowed into his chest. I went to sleep in his arms feeling like I had come home. Grissom woke early seeing I had not moved from the spot against him. He stretched then tried to move as not to wake me.

I never moved as he got up. He came back sitting on the bed with a cup of fresh coffee for me. I felt him touch my arm calling out to me.

I moved smelling my favorite thing. He smiled a little as I stretched opening my eyes seeing the cup. I sat up taking it drinking.

"I decided you can come to work this evening, but I am going to request that your put-on lab duty. I want to watch you." He said

I nodded agreeing.

"If you had an attack at a crime scene it would be bad."

"Ok." I said

"Still cold?" He asked

"Yeah." I said, trembling.

He nodded before getting up.

"I will make you something and then we'll go."

I nodded looking at him.

"Gris?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you kiss me?"

He leaned over kissing me gently then he stood back leaving the room.

I got ready then came out to eat what he made for me. I took a jacket walking out with him. We arrived at work and I didn't move to get out of the car. He looked at me.

"Coming?" He asked

I looked at him moving over pulling him to me. Our lips crashed onto one another's. His hand went to my cheek tilting his head. He deepened the kiss taking my breath away. I moaned as he pulled back looking at me. I opened my eyes searching his.

"We are going to be late." He said, gently.

"What for?"

He chuckled breaking the spell.

"Come on."

I watched him open the door getting out walking to the curb. I got out following. Russell welcomed me back I worked in the lab alone while he went to a meeting. At break I ate a sandwich reading a journal in the breakroom.

Nick walked in getting an apple from the fridge then sitting down beside me.

"How's it going?" He asked, before taking a big bite.

"Good, you?"

"Fantastic!" He said

I looked at him as he chewed smiling.

"What is that smile for?"

"What smile?"

"Did you…..?"

"I met someone."

"She must be something." I said, flipping a page.

"Long legs, blonde, blue eyes." He said, shaking his head.

"Sounds like a Barbie."

"No, she's better than a Barbie. She's a doctor."

"Wow!"

He ate more of his apple.

"I met her at the grocery store. She was in the produce section looking for a good melon."

I chuckled shaking my head.

"Women love a man that can pick out a good melon."

I got up sighing.

"What?"

"I would love to hear more, but I need to go back to work."

"Come on, this is better than a science journal!"

I waved at him leaving the room to go back to work. Grissom met me at the door to the lab holding some files.

"Everything all right?"

I nodded watching him check his watch then he looked back at me.

"I love you." He said

"I am glad you're in my life, Grissom."

"Thank you. I feel the same way." He said, smiling.

"If I didn't have you….I don't know what I would do." I said

He touched my left arm rubbing it. I watched him leave then I went in the room closing the door. We walked out of the building later after shift. I felt like I was going to cry. Grissom opened the car door as I just started to sob. He looked at me confused as I moved against him holding him tightly.

"Sara?"

I continued to cry as he rubbed my back.

"What did you say to her?" Catherine asked, walking over.

"I didn't do anything. I opened her door and she just…started crying." Grissoms said

"You must have done something." Catherine said

I moved back wiping my eyes as I sniffed.

"Sara, are you okay?" Catherine asked

I nodded looking down.

"This must be a side effect." Grissom said

I got in the car as Grissom talked to Catherine outside. He got in touching my hand watching me.

"Sorry." I said

"This is out of your control." He said

"It was embarrassing."

"No."

I looked at him as he smiled a little.

"Let's go home." I said

He nodded starting the car.

As the night before I went to Grissom's bedroom to lie beside him. He welcomed me into his personal space. I had taken another pill earlier. Now I waited for something to happen.

The next day I felt bad, but I didn't let on. I moved slowly working in silence with Russell. At break I went to Grissoms office seeing he was not in and I laid on his couch in the corner. I closed my eyes facing the couch. As I drifted, I heard movement in the room. A hand went to my head then cheek.

"Are you sick?" Grissom asked

I moved to my back not opening my eyes.

"Pills." I said

He understood looking me over.

"I think it will take time to adapt to them in your system." He said

"I need to work." I said, trying to get up. He helped me to stand.

"Honey, are you sure?"

"I have to." I said

He watched me leave then he went back to his desk. I walked down the hallway stopping as I grabbed my stomach hunched over throwing up brown liquid on the floor. I could not catch my breath as I heaved. No one came to help as I continued to throw up. I shook looking at the mess on the floor. My body was failing me as I fell to the side. I don't know how long I was lying there. Someone did come and was touching me.

When I came to, I was in an ambulance. I looked over at the paramedic in blue sitting beside the stretcher working on me. He put in an IV then he checked my vitals. Grissom appeared looking scared as he touched my blanket covered leg.

"Is she okay?"

"She is very weak." He said

Grissom looked back at me squeezing my leg. I closed my eyes letting the darkness come. I woke hearing rain. Opening my eyes, I was in a hospital room. Wires were on my body beeping. I swallowed feeling frail and weak. I could move my fingers, but nothing else.

The door opened and Catherine walked in smiling sadly as she leaned over me rubbing my arm.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Where…Grissom?" I asked

"He's at the lab. There was a problem. He'll be right back."

She looked at the heart monitor to the right of me.

"The doctor said you had an allergic reaction to the medicine you took." She said, as she sat down in the chair beside the bed. "They put in some medicine in your IV that is supposed to help. Grissom told them about all the stuff that happened to you."

I tried to nod.

"They are going to put you on something else."

I shivered closing my eyes. Catherine was silent watching me. Grissom came in an hour later watching Catherine stand up walking over to him.

"She's been sleeping." She said, quietly.

"Thank you." He said

She nodded before leaving. Grissom came over looking at me then he leaned over kissing my pale cheek. The doctor came in quietly walking over.

"Sara will be fine soon." He said, quietly. "The medicine is counteracting with the medicine already in her system."

Grissom nodded looking at me.

He walked out as Grissom rubbed my limp hand. I woke feeling better, but still I was weak. Grissom sat in the chair smiling at me as he continued to touch my hand.

He brought me home a few days later. I leaned into him as he put his arms around me.

"Glad to be home?" He asked

"Mmhmm." I said, against him.

"Me to."

"Grissom, I want to sleep in the same bed with you again." I said, lifting my head looking at him. "I want to feel you again."

"I want that to. I love you?"

"I love you to."

I smiled at him as he did.


End file.
